I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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