Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
ok first of all what the fuck
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
