I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
