dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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