A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
