I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
