like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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