I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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