I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
