I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
