Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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