are you still at the devil's house?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
