I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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