i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
