i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
