It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
