Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
