Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
