Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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