Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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