i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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