the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize