i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
