pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
