He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize