I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
