so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
