She's JV to your varsity
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
