i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Go christen that room with your naked body.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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