He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
