that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
