census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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