I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it's like iHOP with fire
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
