why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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