So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
