it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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