Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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