The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.