never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar