So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
