Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
