fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
