Cold hands, warm shart.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
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Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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