omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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