hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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