So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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