he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize