I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
