is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
