I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
there's paper in my vomit.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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