I molested 6 butterflies tonight
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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