she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
