I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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