That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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