Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
