My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize