I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
