I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
