Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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