Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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