whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize