I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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