Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
